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C. Joybell. C.
“The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.”
Elizabeth Gilbert.
“In terms of days and moments lived, you’ll never again be as young as you are right now, so spend this day, the youth of your future, in a way that deflects regret. Invest in yourself. Have some fun. Do something important. Love somebody extra. In one sense, you’re just a kid, but a kid with enough years on her to know that every day is priceless.”
Victoria Moran.
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Don't Jump, Just Fall.
"I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.”
Neil Gaiman.
“Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to.”
Stephen King.
You start to re-think everything. If you actually, truly loved someone. Full on in love with a person. Or you loved the idea of them. That you had someone. That you weren’t lonely. Maybe you two were only together because you were both lonely.
There’s this ache in my chest and it’s hard to breathe. All of these guys.. I was that kind of girl that even in a relationship, I had a ‘back up’ guy. So when I was dumped or I dumped them, or whatever happened, I still had some guy to talk to. I had someone so I wouldn’t be lonely.
Once that all stops. Once you don’t have that person. That guy. Anyone. You realize just how lonely you are. How desperate you are for love and affection. Desperate you are for someone to say, ‘I love you. I need you. I want you. In so many different ways.’
In so many different ways. Just not in the lust sense. Not just, ‘I want you for the night. I want you to fill that void. Please me.’ Not that walk of shame type of thing. No. That whole, breakfast in the morning, here’s a dresser drawer for your things, and I want to hold your hand in public because I can.
I fucking hate being lonely.
Today I was suppose to hang out with people and go to the movies. Cause it’s like $6 all day for tickets. Slept through that.
I stayed up until 4:30am with my last day of school tomorrow.
I’m suppose to be going to Venice Beach or Santa Monica Pier on Thursday.
- I am broke.
- I do not want to take 3 buses just to get to the beach. And back.
- I need a car.
If it’s starting in Florida, we should just cut off all ties from that shit.
Or it can just wait until I’m dead. Or never come. Never happening is a good idea.
antsy
SORRY, I’M NOT SORRY.
Sometimes I post stupid things. Insignificant things. Depressing things. Suicidal things. Happy things. Cute boys. Cute girls.
Maybe one day, it’ll all be important to me. Or I can look back and just laugh.
Mine is, at least. Because it’s a year round school. I only get 3-4 weeks off and that’s it. Last year, I did absolutely nothing because I had no friends when I started at my school. I knew no one and it sucked. This year, we’re already making plans. Take a bus down to Venice Beach for the day, hang out at the $1 movie theaters. With Brandon and Eddie, of course. Probably Kimmie, if her parents let her. Jose and Chris. Whoever else.
We just have to take the bus everywhere…. We seriously need a car or know someone with a car. Well, I do. But it’d be awkward.
Plans for summer involve two hour bus rides. We need a car. (Taken with instagram)
